Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position. ;))
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. “I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it’s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others.” he is told by the doorman (say his name is Pete). Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So Pete leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. “See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!” “Why that’s wonderful!” Says Albert. “We can discuss mathematics!” “And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!” “Why that’s wonderful!” Says Albert. “We can discuss physics!” “And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!” “That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!” Just then another man moves out to capture Albert’s hand and shake it. “I’m your last room mate and I’m sorry, but my IQ is only 80.” Albert smiles back at him and says, “So, where do you think interest rates are headed?”
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord… “God, what does a million years mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A minute.” “Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?” The Lord replied, “A penny.” Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?” The Lord replies, “In a minute.”
In 1987, on the night of the 23rd of February, Scientists were privileged to witness something extraordinary. A supernova had come to play out its final role, As a neutron star or as a black hole. A white dwarf follows the trend Of collecting mass from his friend. Reaching a mass forty per cent more than our Sun, It explodes as a supernova of type one. Large stars containing extremely big mass Eventually become a supernova of the type two class. But before reaching this last stage They fuse from hydrogen to the “iron age”…
Due to Sun storms or some other disturbance, A burst of charged particles descends from the turbulence. Colliding with atmosphere atoms and causing separation, Thus releasing electrons and ions to form ionization. The different shapes of the light creation Are thus the result of the plasma formation. This aurora in the northern hemisphere is the Borealis, The one in the southern hemisphere is the Australis.
Nuclear fission can create an explosion That can bring about chaos and erosion. Using uranium, so hazardous, for its construction, The atomic bomb was created for destruction.
Nuclear fusion can be made to explode Together with the atomic bomb caused much more to erode. Using deuterium found in oceans all about, The hydrogen bomb is much more harmful, no doubt. For today’s civilization and peaceful means, however, Fission and fusion are meant for something better. To solve the problem of the energy situation, For the present and future generations.
Thus nuclear fission reactors were constructed on condition That the energy release would be under controlled supervision. But working with uranium is ‘dirty’, or so the media has made widespread; As it emits radiation, it’s become a psychological dread. And so nuclear fusion, the scientists today believe, Could be the answer to mankind’s relief. Using deuterium so ‘clean’ and found with ease, Can provide an abundance of energy release.
A man, a genius, an intellect, a philosopher and a physicist, Celebrated as one of the world’s greatest scientists. His logic and clarity and creative imagination Proved to all around him a great inspiration. He was forced to attend a secondary school before he could enter, To study at the famous Swiss Polytechnique Center. He earned money through teaching and doing computations And became the Swiss patent examiner upon a friend’s recommendations. It was during this time that Einstein was most active, His numerous hours of research proved most productive.
In 1905 he produced three papers that revolutionized man’s imagination Of the physical universe, laying down the basis for the atomic age foundation. His emission of electrons from metal surfaces exposed to light explanation Theoretically was one aspect of the quantum theory inauguration. In another he analyzed the Brownian movement theory mathematically Providing a method for determining the dimensions of molecules accurately. The third, describing the relativistic nature of uniform motion, And the interdependence of space and time, then caused a commotion. The equivalence of mass and energy, his famous resolution,
was dramatically demonstrated in the atomic explosion. In 1915 he published his General Theory of Relativity, In which he developed the geometry concept of gravity. Einstein here achieved the unification Of space, time, mass, energy, inertia and gravitation.
Einstein loved music and played his violin with zest, He loved Beethoven, Bach but Mozart the best. He believed in a world of harmony and simplicity, He was full of benevolence, humor and integrity.
Though a confirmed pacifist and peace was his object, He was responsible for initiating the atomic bomb project. Fearing the Nazis would achieve world domination, He urged President Roosevelt to pursue nuclear research investigation. Albert Einstein is so well known, We learn his name before we are fully grown. As a scientist considered to be one of the best His legacy left to man is a very rich bequest….
What is a laser as a simple definition? Light amplification of stimulated radiation emission. Used in medicine, industry and research world-wide, To improve the conditions of all mankind. In medicine lasers are used in eye and other operations, In industry as cutting tools and other applications. In research to study the different phenomena of light variation, Enlightening the atomic structure from the irradiation. If there are sufficient electrons in the upper energy position, The stimulating photons can further stimulate emission.
These photons cause the electrons to jump to a lower state, Creating a coherent beam with a very definite energy rate. Excessive excited electrons known as the population inversion Are maintained by the power fed into the system for this transition. Thus a chain reaction similar to that of nuclear fission Can be achieved for the light stimulated radiation emission. Today the laser can be worked in gaseous, solid and liquid states Causing photons to stimulate electrons at high frequency rates. For the future, however, higher frequencies are under investigation. To include as well the biological structure exploration….
With Faraday’s electrical charges that came to pass,
A new glow appeared, different from those in solids, liquids or gas.
Sir William Crookes while observing his own studies,
Of the electrical charges found in these gas bodies,
Suggested this glow so different from the other
Should be known as the fourth state of matter. This new state of matter could not be understood Before the following developments and events occurred. Thomson’s discovery of the electron and its nature, Bohr’s and Rutherford’s completion of the atom’s structure. Langmuir’s and Tonks’s continuation of Crookes’s experimentation Of the gas discharge properties and the new creation. The name plasma was Langmuir’s own initiation To describe the electron and ion correlation. Faraday’s work on solutions and those unanswered queries Were summarized and brought to light by Debye’s new theories Of ions in solutions, a theory so profound and outstanding That enabled the continuance of the plasma understanding. Plasma motions as a fluid in a magnetic field was Alfven’s addition And he was awarded the first Nobel Prize in plasma for this contribution. The famous Russian physicist Landau and his sophisticated construction Of his theory of the electron and the plasma interaction Paved the way for the modern plasma observations, Through his valuable achievements and revelations….